I don’t know if you know this about me but I am actually a Pokémon trainer! I’m retired now and I haven’t picked up a Pokéball in a long time but I have conquered both the Kanto and Johto Pokémon Leagues when I was a teenager (my older brother has conquered the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and Sinnoh Leagues but it’s not a competition).

I no longer feel like I have anything to prove and I am happy in my retirement, but I still have flashbacks every once in a while of building a Pokémon team and strategizing against my opponents. The chances of returning to the battlefield are low for me but if I did make a comeback, I have thought about what my Pokémon team would look like today and I have decided to share it with you. Some of my choices are based on the strategies I used as a kid, and others are brand new choices I have thought of today.

Pokémon trainers are only allowed to carry six Pokémon with them at a time so when you battle other Pokémon trainers it is a fair fight. Therefore I have chosen a dream team of six Pokémon I would want in my imaginary new team. I made sure to have a lot of variety in the types of Pokémon I chose so that I would be ready to face any opponent with little difficulty.

Charizard

A Fire/Flying-Type Pokémon with strong elemental attacks and high speed.

Strong against Grass and Bug-type Pokémon.

Weak against Water and Electric-type Pokémon.

It is the evolved form of Charmeleon, which is itself the evolved form of Charmander.

Trivia:

A Charizard will spit fire that is hot enough to melt boulders. When it breathes fire, the flame on the tip if its tail burns even more brightly.

My Moves:

Flamethrower

Earthquake

Fly

Fire Blast

My Strategy:

Flamethrower is a strong and reliable fire-breathing attack with 100% accuracy. The ground-shaking Earthquake and the divebomb attack Fly allow me to conquer both the ground and the sky in battle. Fire Blast has an 85% accuracy rate but combined with Charizard’s unusually strong fire powers, it is usually worth the gamble.

Outside of Battle:

Charizard’s Fly will come in handy because only after it learns this move will it be able to carry me across the region, which always made for quick and easy travel when I was wandering Kanto and Johto.

Raichu

An Electric-type Pokémon with strong offense both physical and elemental, not to mention high speed.

Strong against Flying-type Pokémon.

Weak against Ground-type Pokémon.

It is what Pikachu will evolve into after being exposed to a Thunder Stone.

Trivia:

Raichu’s long tail serves as a ground to protect itself from its own high voltage. It can get aggressive if it stores too much electrical power in its body and it avoids this by occasionally discharging excess energy.

My Moves:

Thunderbolt

Thunder Wave

Iron Tail

Thunder

My Strategy:

Like Charizard’s Flamethrower, Thunderbolt is powerful and has 100% accuracy. Thunder Wave has a strong chance of paralyzing my foe, giving me more time to strike it with Raichu’s Iron Tail, a Steel-type move that has 75% accuracy but does a ton of damage on impact. Thunder only has a 70% chance of striking my opponent but does even heavier damage when it lands.

Outside of Battle:

I don’t want Raichu’s electrical overload interfering with the power in my house or my smartphone reception so I would most likely keep it in its Pokéball at all times.

Alakazam

A Psychic-type Pokémon with high elemental power and speed.

Strong against Fighting-type Pokémon.

Weak against Ghost and Dark-type Pokémon.

It is evolved from a Kadabra, which is itself evolved from an Abra.

Trivia:

Alakazam’s brain can outperform a supercomputer. It has an IQ of 5,000 and can memorize anything.

My Moves:

Light Screen

Shadow Ball

Psychic

Future Sight

My Strategy:

Light Screen will cut my opponent’s elemental moves in half for several turns in battle and Psychic is a powerful move with 100% accuracy. Future Sight is even more powerful and it will strike whoever your opposing Pokémon is after the next two moves, even if your opposing trainer switches out their Pokémon with another one during the battle. Shadow Ball is a Ghost-Type move that will be strong against Ghost-Type Pokémon who are usually strong against Psychic types like Alakazam, so it will be the perfect surprise attack.

Outside of Battle:

Alakazam is the smartest Pokémon of all so I would test its knowledge by playing board games, card games and video games with it all day to see how smart it was. Hopefully it could teach me to be smarter too. I could use a higher IQ.

Tangela

A Grass-type Pokémon with high defense and strong elemental attacks.

Strong against Water and Electric-type Pokémon.

Weak against Fire, Ice, Flying and Bug-type Pokémon.

Trivia:

Tangela’s body is wrapped in thick seaweed-like vines that never stop growing and completely obscure its body.

My Moves:

Confusion

Mega Drain

Solar Beam

Power Whip

My Strategy:

I like to give my Pokémon at least one move that does not match their type so as to expand my strategic possibilities when facing Pokémon of varying types throughout my journey, which is why I taught my Tangela the Psychic-type move Confusion, a move that isn’t super powerful but there is a chance my opponent will become confused and start attacking itself after Tangela uses it. Mega Drain slowly drains my opponent’s health and recovers Tangela’s health turn by turn, and Solar Beam is powerful, but like Charizard’s Fly requires two turns, one to absorb sunlight and one to unleash a force of solar energy against my foe. Power Whip is super strong but has an 85% accuracy rate.

Outside of Battle:

I always wanted to know what a Tangela would look like without its vines. First thing I would do after catching one is untangle those vines and see what it really looks like in there.

Gyarados

A Water/Flying-type Pokémon with a strong offense and a high defense against elemental attacks.

Strong against Ground-type Pokémon.

Weak against Electric-type Pokémon.

It is the evolved form of Magikarp (believe it or not).

Trivia:

Gyarados are capable of destroying entire cities when they get enraged. They can be destructive and wildly violent Pokémon.

My Moves:

Crunch

Surf

Dragon Pulse

Hyper Beam

My Strategy:

Crunch is a quick and powerful Dark-type move that usually does the trick, but if not, the Water-type move Surf has 100% accuracy and always washes away the competition. Dragon Pulse is a powerful Dragon-type move and Hyper Beam is a mega force. It has 90% accuracy but it will usually knock out opponents in one hit. It’s so powerful, any Pokémon who uses it needs another turn in battle to recover before they can use another move. Luckily, few survive the first hit.

Outside of Battle:

Charizard is good for flying but Gyarados is good for riding the waves, which I can do after teaching it the move Surf. As an introverted loner who usually wants to be left alone, I have a feeling Gyarados would be the perfect companion to be out in public with because it would scare everyone away. Plus it would be the perfect outlet for my rage when my therapist is too busy to respond to my texts.

Snorlax

A Normal-type Pokémon with good physical strength, good elemental defense and super high stamina.

Strong against Ghost-Type Pokémon.

Weak against Fighting-type Pokémon.

It is the evolved form of Munchlax.

Trivia:

Snorlax is lazy. All it does is eat and sleep. It is capable of eating anything without getting an upset stomach, even if it has mold on it.

My Moves:

Body Slam

Rest

Snore

Pay Day

My Strategy:

Body Slam is pretty reliable given Snorlax’s heavy exterior. Rest is a recovery move that heals damage as Snorlax puts itself to sleep, but fear not! Snore will do damage to my opponent even as Snorlax sleeps, and if it wakes up again, back to Body Slam. As for Pay Day, it’s not a powerful move, but it will always magically leave cash on the ground after being used, and I’m not one to pass up easy money.

Outside of Battle:

Snorlax is a hard one to keep around the house since it’s six feet tall and weighs over a thousand pounds, but the fact that it can eat anything without getting sick will mean food at my place will never go wasted again.

Dude, My Pokémon team is so strong I would be willing to bet I could take on these guys in battle.